i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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