I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
