i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
