Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
