as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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