At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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