at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize