guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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