So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
