I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want to make out with him forever
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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