you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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