I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
