You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
