we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
