I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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