it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i think my cat just said my name.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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