Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
