Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
