Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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