sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
