How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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