Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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