What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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