Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need water and some morals
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
