Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize