bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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