she woke up with a sticky ear
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
