Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
