ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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