Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
