there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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