Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
