Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
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