Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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