can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
