is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
