Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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