You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
