Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need water and some morals
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
