i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
