K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
