dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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