I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize