yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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