Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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