He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
