Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
