Please, let me fuck your mom
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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