worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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