my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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