i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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