Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
