Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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