there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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