Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
